SSF- What About Me?

I've asked SSF to be a little a more vocal around here and share his view on everything from our finances to our wedding. Here is his first, and hopefully not last post. Enjoy!
xo,grace


SSF here. 

Hey, it’s hard to argue that all eyes won’t be on my beautiful soon-to-be bride at our wedding.  When she’s walking down the aisle (beach), I will be up at the altar, the afterthought of everyone in attendance.  Every groom knows this, every groom understands this, and every groom accepts this.  Which is fine.  As a low-key kind of guy, that’s actually the way I’d prefer it.  Still, when we’re standing up there together, and people’s eyes eventually make their way over to me, I want them to say, “Gee, that’s a handsome guy she’s marrying” and not, “Gee, what a slob.”

Of course it won’t be like that, I know.  But lately I’ve been stressing about how I’m going to look on my wedding day, and how my groomsmen will look as well.  I’ve been searching for ideas, scavenging the internet (like, all of it), flipping through catalogs, and taking suggestions.  I’ve decided I don’t want to go down the traditional path of renting the black tux.  I want a look that fits with our beach wedding, but isn’t overly casual, that is also unique and different. 

So I decided to do a post that shows some of the looks that I’ve found that I’m into.  Feel free to leave your thoughts, or any ideas/suggestions you might have.

This is probably the look that I envisioned when I first started thinking about my wedding suit.  I like the plaid with the tan suit. It’s different than the traditional plain old white button down shirt that seems to accompany every suit.  A simple Google search of beach weddings show plenty of guys in tan suits with their white shirts, and I want to divert from that norm.  I like the bit of color-pop the plaid offers, as it dresses up the tan suit.  That said, the combination still feels like p.76 out of the JCrew catalog, so I’m not sure I’m getting the uniqueness I want.

I’ve been feeling the grey suit lately, but I’m not sure if it is beach-y enough.  I like the contrast in colors a grey suit would give me.  In the picture above, the yellow and blues really stand out.  I feel I could have some fun creating a more personalized look.  If I were to go with a grey suit, I’d probably want a lighter shade of grey, like this:

(Like the grey, but definitely not feeling the linen suit.)

Love this look.  The skinny ties with the suspenders are how I envision my groomsmen.  Plus this might be the lighter shade of grey I’m looking for.  The casualness of the look also lends itself well to our laid back beach wedding.  The shoes and no socks are also a perfect touch.  Love, love, love. 

***

So that’s a taste of where I’m at as a future groom.  I’ve got ideas that seem to be all over the place, and it’s getting close to the time where I need to start narrowing down some options.  Sheesh, who knew planning a wedding would be so stressful? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  How would you like your beach groom to look?   

~SSF

Smart Wedding: Finding "the" Dress

Anyone remember this post from way back in March of last year? No? Ok, well let me refresh your memory. I had recently taken a trip to New York City to try on dresses at Kleinfeld's where I fell hopelessly in love with this beauty from designer Augusta Jones. I have basically been pining over this dress for the last 8 months. I've been considering  busting my budget for it. That is until recently, when reality set in. Who am I to think I can go out and drop three grand on a dress?

I've heard people say: 

"It's your day"

"You'll always regret not getting "the" dress"

"You only get one wedding"

Blah. Blah. Blah. 

At the end of the day, it's still money. So to the relief of SSF and my parents, I came to my senses and decided to keep looking. And you know what? It is possible to find more than one dress that looks absolutely amazing on you. It's also possible to find a dress that's a more affordable. I went last weekend and tried on a few dresses and found two beautiful ones I could see myself in for the wedding. I have a 2 more appointments this weekend, one of them being a follow-up to last week's, and I am dragging everyone but SSF with me so I can finally make a decision. 

So to all you ladies out there, getting married in the next year, longing for that expensive dress that in no way, shape, or form, fits your budget. My advice is don't believe the hype. Don't buy in to all the excitement of getting married and buying a wedding dress. Stay focused and most importantly stay under budget!  Oh, and once you found your dress, stop looking!

Now, pretty pictures: 

Source: thesweetestoccasion.com via Grace on Pinterest

Bridemaids: I hope you are reading this. This is my vision. Go buy your dresses. 

Source: stylemepretty.com via Grace on Pinterest

this cracks me up.

Source: reasonstobreathe.tumblr.com via Grace on Pinterest

love the intimacy of a long table, it will be perfect for our small wedding.

Source: shineonwithlb.com via Grace on Pinterest

Again, bridesmaids.. be prepared. I may make you do this the morning after the wedding.


Have a good weekend! 

Wedding Updates!

Oh man, has this week flown by. This always happens once I'm back in school again. Weeks fly by as if they were days. Sorry in advnce for my completely sporadic posting schedule from now until December (when I finally graduate!) But I digress. I realized the other day, after catching up on blogs and seeing the many girls that have gotten engaged, that I haven't blogged about my own wedding in awhile!

Source: blog.duetevents.com via Grace on Pinterest

So where do I even start? Well as you may remember we settled on this amazing event home in the Outer Banks for our venue. There is enough rooms for a majority of our guests to stay the entire week.

I've also booked my DJ for a cool $200/hour (ouch).

A photographer for around $1800.

Source: iloveswmag.com via Grace on Pinterest

A taco bar for dinner with sangria, margaritas (my favorite), wine, or beer for my guests (my own) drinking pleasure. A trip to the Outer banks in Ocotber will help finalize the caterer.

And SSF picked out suspenders for his groomsmen.

It's not much, but we are getting there.

It hard to think about all the little details when we're still 14 months out from the actual day. It will probably be a lot easier to think about though when all the bills start rolling in.

Source: stylemepretty.com via Grace on Pinterest

Wedding Planning is Hard

Especially when you are marrying an SSF. I love him to death but boy is he demanding. We finally secured a venue, but before we could do that I had to get estimates from most of our major vendors (photographer, dj, catering) before SSF felt comfortable committing to a rental. The last 2-3 weeks of my life have been dedicated to researching and e-mailing various vendors from the Outer Banks. It was an exhausting but very worthwhile exercise. I learned a lot about what I actually could expect to pay compared to what all the bridal magazines and websites will tell you.

 In the end we settled on a venue that was way out of our budget. Yeah, it's actually $2,000 more then our entire wedding budget. It was a really hard decision to make but one we believe is right. The home sits on a remote area of the Outer Banks and boasts 23 bedrooms, 21 and 1/2 baths, a pool, large decks, and a dedicated reception area (indoors).





Which leads to the big question... How the heck are we going to afford this place? Well with 23 bedrooms and a short guest list (60-75 people) we will be offering our guests a room in the house, for the week. We haven't finalized the rates but even $500 to secure a bedroom would be less than a 3 night stay in the closest hotel. Of the people closest to us the emotions are mixed. Those that have been to the Outer Banks before are so excited and those that have not are skeptical.  Planning a destination wedding is a strange beast, not all the conventional rules apply (could you imagine asking people to chip in for your reception hall?) and it's hard to make decisions when all your experience is based off of traditional weddings.

I couldn't be more excited to be embarking on this journey though. I was a ball of stress up until the day we finally booked the venue. It's officially set: October 12, 2012 at the Wild Horse. If I can't fill the rooms, you're all invited.

total wedding spend to-date: $1662

*picture source: Twiddy

Good Times, Lots of Laughs:Best Friend's Wedding

Ok, so this is mostly a post for my best friends to pirate some pictures that were taken over the weekend, but there is no reason you can't enjoy them too!

Did you have a good weekend?

To Have or Have Not: Wedding Planners

Source: weddings.theknot.com via Joyce on Pinterest

I'm sure some of you have got to be wondering why SSF and I , with our relatively small budget (compared to the national average), would chose to dedicate 16% (give or take) of it to a wedding planner. Sure, I probably could have managed planning the wedding on my own, but I am a big believer in experts. I take my car to a mechanic not because I can't learn to change my own oil, but because I probably wouldn't want to spend a Saturday afternoon under my car. SSF and I chose to trust wedding coordinators because they are experts in their field. They know the wedding scene on the Outer Banks, they know what vendors will fit with our ambiance and budget, and they know how to throw a party. Not to mention, between a full-time job, school, and a blog I don't have much time to drop everything, drive 5 hours to North Carolina, and meet with vendors multiple times over the next 16 months.

Hiring a wedding planner just made sense.

As I mentioned, We took a little trip down to the Outer Banks last week to meet with some potential planners. I set-up three appointments for us. Three was a good number to start with, it didn't feel like we were overwhelmed with meetings but gave us a good range. I honestly wasn't sure what I was looking for aside from a descent price until I saw it. We were lucky enough to have found our wedding planning soul mates after just the second meeting. They are budget conscious and excited at the challenge of creating an amazing event on a small budget. They were brimming with ideas and recommendations just from talking with us and flipping through my binder, and they had an amazing design sense. I was sold. They even put SSF's racing, budget calculating mind at ease, double sold.

We are still waiting on a proposal to nail down the final cost for the planners but if you are wondering or planning on hiring a planner you should expect to pay at least $1500 for a minimal package (mostly day of coordination)
Did/would you hire a coordinator for your wedding? What was your experience?

Wedding Updates

Source: nickandnoragettingmarried.wordpress.com via Robin on Pinterest

First off, let me just say thank you for all the love on my last post. I wish I could have said thank you to each and every one one of you individually. It was seriously unreal to be putting on wedding dresses. Up until Thursday getting married was just a thing that was happening a long time from now. I hadn't even given much thought to it and then BAM, I'm standing in front of a Kleinfelds mirror in an amazing wedding dress. Totally surreal.

With that said, there were also some great questions raised that I wanted to answer.

Yes, I did find a dress that I am totally head over heels in love with. It wasn't pictured in the last post because you have to be very sneaky when snapping photos at Kleinfeld's and we just didn't have the opportunity to with that dress. I also don't want to dwell on it because the reality is that is costs $3200. I didn't exactly intend on spending that much money on a dress however it did make my best friend cry if that gives you any indication on how spectacular it is. Luckily, I have plenty of time to come to one of two conclusions.

a. find similiarly amazing dress
or
b. somehow raise $3200 for the one I tried on. (car wash anyone?)

As far as my budget is concerned there isn't really one yet. SSF and I decided that we are comfortable spending around $12,000 for the wedding (which includes the few items my parents have offered to pay for). The only problem is that since we are having it out of state we don't really know what to expect things to cost. So $12,000 is entirely unfounded. We are heading down to the Outerbanks in April and meeting with a few planners to understanding the wedding scene a little better.

I'm crazy excited for the trip but until then I am basically in a holding pattern as far as wedding planning goes.

New York In Pictures

Yesterday my best friend and I took a day trip up to NYC to try on my first wedding dresses at the J.Crew Bridal Boutique and Kleinfelds. We laughed, Jennifer cried, and we walked, and took tons of pictures when we could. It was a great day. The best of all though.. outside of my train ticket I only spent $30 on food and a random bottle of Essie nailpolish. Yeah, that's right. I went to New York and bought nailpolish. Impulse buys happen when you early for you departing train and are loitering around a drugstore.

(some of these pictures were taken with a cellphone so picture quality will vary)





























Have a good weekend!

Weekend Wedding Fun Times

I considered a post today about how although my credit cards were paid off I still had a long way to go with my student loan debt, but it's Friday, let's save that depressing stuff for a Monday. Instead, let's talk weddings. Mum's been the word around here when it comes to weddings because I've planned basically nothing. SSF and I are hoping for a September 2012 wedding but we're still in "we'll see" mode. I figured in the meantime it doesn't hurt to look. And by look I mean completely submerse myself in the wonderful world of wedding blogs. I am seriously totally addicted to the "real weddings" section of any wedding inspiration blog.

While skimming through tons of photographs of other people weddings I've been loosely forming ideas about how I envision my own. I know that my budget will be small but there are a few things I refuse to compromise on:

1. the location (the beach)
2. an amazing photographer 
3. my dress

Everything else could go to hell, as long as those three things are intact I will be a happy Mrs. SSF at the end of the day. Ok, maybe that's not entirely true, but its good enough for right now.

Speaking of dresses, here are some of my favorites:

The simpliest by far, but I love the flow. J.Crew (surprised?)


I love the blush color and the many, many layers. Vera Wang


Again with the layers, but also the sweetheart neckline: Ivy & Aster


By far my favorite yet least attainable: Douglas Hannant

I think you see where I am going with these. I'm even considering the plant on my head instead of a veil. Thoughts?

Happy Wedding, Weekend!

Breaking News: Nancy Rocks

I'm interrupting my previously scheduled post to show you the amazing engagement gift I received in the mail yesterday from one of my best friends who lives in Colorado. But first, I don't talk about my friends a lot here. It's hard because honestly all of my closest friends from high school or college all live in different states. Some are in Michigan, others in Pennsylvania, South Carolina, and Colorado. Basically it sucks. But the awesome thing about all my friends, no matter the distance is that I know I can always count on them and I hope they know, they can count on me.

Now back to the gift, the night before SSF proposed we were in Philly visiting with my friends Nancy, Ellen, and Anne and her fiance Bobby. We drank, ate, and looked at old high school pictures into the early morning hours. It was great. One of the best weekends I'd had in a long time. [Little did I know it was about to get 1000 times better]. Anyway, less than a week later I had posted some "first thoughts" regarding my future wedding with this being one of the pictures...



Last night I received this in the mail from Nancy,

with flowers and a Chick-fil-a gift card to boot. [Have I mentioned we like Chick-fil-a?]. I was totally floored. It was so sweet and totally unexpected.

Long story short, Nancy you are the best. I love you (wo)man.

First Thoughts

I have a little confession, although I've been told many a time to enjoy being engaged, I can't help but look around for wedding inspiration. I'm not the girl that has had her ideal wedding planned since birth so now the prospect of planning one has my head spinning (and it's only been 4 days, 4 amazing days.)

I've spent a lot of time these last 4 days on a wedding blog, Style Me Pretty (thanks Nancy). It's completely addicting and enthralling to look through the pictures of so many real, amazing, weddings.

Looking through so many pictures can be overwhelming and confusing, so I've started bookmarking some of my favorites, only the ones that really speak to me or what SSF and I are as a couple. Here are some of my favorites.

all pictures from style me pretty

I just want to soak in as much inspiration as possible for the next couple months before it comes time to start making so tough choices.

In the meantime, if you have an advice, thoughts, ideas, sources of inspiration... lay them on me. I need all the help I can get.